The pounding of my heart, so ominously increasing. My ragged breathing hitched and crazed, my eyes frightened and skittering searching for freedom. If only I could get to the window that seemed to be miles away. What was stopping me? My daughter that huddles underground so small and delicate. All my fault, the bruises that scar her body, all my fault.

All because I'd said yes, to a man who had made all my dreams come true, or so I'd thought. All because I'd allowed myself to be deceived by his soul encasing blue eyes. All because I'd trusted him. My husband who now held me captive as his toy. The man I had fallen in love with, made a child with no longer remained.

All that remained was a stranger who's anger and jealousy had driven him to become a blood thirsty killer.

All because I had gone out without telling him and come back with my dress torn as though I had given myself to another. He knew how much I loved him yet he didn't trust me. I'd tripped in my heels and the material had gotten caught. I'd even shown him the cut I'd received from falling. Yet still he didn't believe me, only stared down at me with new eyes.

It seemed all his anger had been their but I had released it. I would forever regret this night... If I survived. The painful screams of my child still haunted my mind. I had tried to stop him from hurting her, he'd done it in front of me as my child's watering eyes pleaded as she wondering what she'd done wrong.

He had struck me down when I'd tried to get closer to rip my baby girl out of his hands. Now here I lay at the mercy of a man who had once been the love of my life, now a monster. He had taken my baby down to the basement and returned baring even more anger. I scuttled away from him yet still he advanced.

Grabbing me in large hands that had once caressed my cheeks softly as we'd made love he brought me up from the ground like a meaningless sack. And stared at me with clouded hatred.

"Jason" I whisper softly. His eyes are still the ones I've stared at countless times.

"I love you."

How I could say that I didn't know, I still loved this man. His whole body seemed to falter for a minute and suddenly I found my body pressed against his as he kissed me passionately. Apart of him seemed to be fighting this hatred but was it strong enough?

My question voiced in my mind was answered when he throws me away and like trash I go spiralling back, almost losing my grounding but failing to stay up once my hip collides with the corner of the kitchen bench. I hear glass and metal fall to the ground and gasp in pain, as I hear my hip crack as I make just the slightest move.  Jason comes to me and for a flash in his eyes I see worry and regret but it's suddenly wiped away and replaced with hate.

He pulls me up, holding onto my waist and I scream out in pain and the injury in my hip flares to life. He brings a knife to my neck but I hardly give it a glance as I keep screaming, hoping I can let out the pain.

Blood suddenly starts to gargle up in my throat as my screams turn to choking. I am choking on my own blood and slowly my husband lets me go. I slide down to the ground and stare up at him and see that the man I'd thought I knew so well was a perfect stranger.

I thought I had seen all sides of him but this was what I'd missed.

This building up of hate that had destroyed the humanity he held. I still loved him though, even as a monster, he was the one I loved. As my body begins to let go of the world, I spit out the blood gathered in my mouth and whisper.

"I will always love you."

As my eyes draw to a close I see the eyes of my Jason, holding the love that had made me say I do.

Agreeing to for better or worse.

The clatter as the knife drops to the cold concrete floor. Then silence, outside of my head that is.

My damned conscience, thats all I hear. I should have gotten help, I should have gotten help...

Now why would you want help Jason? Why ever would you need help?

"Get out of my head! Get out!"

His Voice, like nails upon a chalk board, grates upon my skull. Oh why wont he leave me alone!

My screams are all in vain! Meaningless. I'm a monster; God, what have I done!

"They did nothing wrong, they never did anything wrong!" Desperation leaks into my voice, getting more prominent with each passing second.

What am I going to do? What!

This question keeps running around in my head, the only thing that is me and not that cursed Voice!

"Oh my baby, I'm so sorry, Ally I'm so sorry."

I mutter this over and over, in terrified whispers, apart of me hoping in vain that I didn't do this, I didn't murder my little girl. My voice breaks.

That last defenceless whimper still rings clearly through my mind.

It was The Voices fault!

But then you were the one who'd held the knife coated with Loraine's blood to Ally's neck.

Loraine.

My dear beautiful wife. I stumble up towards the stairs, allowing my heart to guide me towards my love.

As soon as my eyes touch her still unmoving body, I am held immovable. Even in death she holds an angelic beauty.

I'm a monster, a blood thirsty killer. I destroyed my family, I destroyed my life.

I'd caused my wife's final breath.

'Til death do us part. I had murdered her and caused us to part.

Or maybe you don't have to part.

The voice, it's back, but this time I don't push it away. I walk towards the kitchen and pull forth another knife, this time, fully aware and ready to oblige to the wishes of the voice.

Do it.

With what I know to be the final order of The Voice, I thrust the knife into my chest, penetrating deep into my heart.

Yet I feel no pain, only relief. With my last clusters of life, I find my way to Loraine and collapse next to her, twining my fingers through her open one's. It is as though she is waiting for me.

As my clutch on reality recedes even further I smile as I fall into the clutches of death, embracing its calls.

It's one voice I've yearned to hear.

You said yes to a date

You said yes to a kiss

You said yes when I asked you to be mine

But you said no to the most important question

_{'do you love me...'}

I sit in the basement on the concreted floor. I tuck my legs under my chin and let off a chorus of disgruntled sobs as my sores inflame with pain. I feel a tear roll down my swollen cheek as the pain intensifies. Good; it means I'm still alive.

The darkness around me contracts like the walls are closing in around me. I tremble like a drug addict as fear slowly works its way through my brain like a tumor. My pulsing head moves back and forth, hitting the cold concrete wall. I want to die.

I hear sounds of crashing glass and metal coming from upstairs. I shut my eyes trying to tune it out but it's no use. Closing them would be just like have them open because the room is so dark. I hear yelling and tortured screams. I wrap my small hands over my ears but still the sound cuts through everything, my whole existence. My mother's screams; they cut out with a creepy wail.

I let out a frustrated scream for being so useless. I regret it as soon as I hear clumping foot steps that make my body tremble harder. The sound stops just as the door opens, sending a searing wave of light into the confined space. I flinch back away from it, pressing my self further against the wall.

He comes towards me, gradually, each step bringing me closer to my demise. I am yanked off the cold concrete floor, by the scruff of my long, ruffled, dark brown hair. I writhe in pain as my hair gets pulled out by the roots but I'm held in his grasp like a rag doll.

He brings a sharp stainless steel knife, coated in blood, -my mother's blood- to my neck. I instantly stop my struggles like a car would in a deadlock. The blade pushes harder into my flesh, cutting through and drawing blood. A low whimper makes its way out of my mouth as I resist the temptation to gulp at the risk of drawing more blood.

He was my murderous father.

I am Ally.

I was five.

Strength
I didn't have any
It was the one trait I didn't possess
You despised me for that

You called me weak
Every time I cried out
You just struck me harder
You said it made me stronger

Well you know what?
It didn't, it never would
All it did was build up hate
You made me forget about love

In life, I became unapproachable
All because of you
My abusive father
I guess in a way you made me stronger

I have never loved
So my heart has never been broken
As I am bitter
People avoid me

You have given me peace
You probably think I should thank you
Should be happy...
That I am alone!

Every moment, of my life
I shake and cry out for help
I am stuck, surrounded by my thoughts
That take me back to my time with you

Before you ever started hurting me
Before you called me weak
Before you turned into a monster of my nightmares
Where you became someone I feared not loved

Before my mother died
And you blamed the loss on me
Tortured me and said it would make me stronger
When all you where doing was letting your hate out

What happened to the kind hearted man
Who had held me when there was a storm
Or kissed me good night
What happened to the man who made me smile

Now all I do when I see you is scream
Run away and pray the world ends
Because of you I feel the need to suffer
Even if it means deliberately bleeding

I remember you saying that bleeding only made me stronger
But now, as I lie in this tub
With my blood leaking from my wrists
I wonder, did you ever love me

As I wallow away to a world
Where I will be stronger
I think
Father, are you proud

That I have listen to you
Hurt myself
Tried to be stronger
Only to be so weak that I now let death claim me

It's coming, oh God help me. I'm going to die, and my child shall die with me. Where is she! My dear Annie. My body starts to shake with the full force of my anguish as tears roll down my flushed cheeks. I'm to young to die, I'm not ready.

"Mommy?" I hear a feeble voice cry out. I know that voice anywhere. My annie. My head snaps up and there behind the flames I see my dear Annabel. She stands so small holding her dear teddy, reaching out for me. I let out a gasp as I see the flames reach for my child, with their greedy clutches. My daughter yelps back away from the large flames now tower over her. I cannot watch my dear baby girl die. I will not let it happen.

I decisively make a decision that will destroy me physically but save me mentally and emotionally. I leap in through the inferno of destruction, reaching out for my child as the flames lick away at my body. Her eyes enlarge as she sees me step out of the inferno. To her I must seem like someone with a glowing halo encasing my body. I smile at her with everything I have even though my bare flesh is being eaten away.

I encircle my arms around my child and she winces for a second. I am hurting her, but I must to save her. I run through my burning home that is like a massacre of destruction. I finally reach the door and throw my body through the flaming doorway, protecting my daughter with my body.

As I reach outside, the cold air strikes me like a bat and the heat burning away at my body enlightens. I drop to the ground and let my child roll out of my hands. Her arms are slightly burnt but she is alive and breathing. She stares at me with wide open eyes. Clearly seeing my pain she begins to cry, clutching her bear closer.

I move closer to her, trying to soothe her with my melodic voice, that is now hoarse. Yet somehow her sobs finally recede.

I hear sirens in the distance and let out a resigned sigh. By the time they arrive, all they will see is my small child, and ash. For I will be gone and I do not regret the decision I have made. Some how understanding what I have done, my babe waves. I give her a light smile showing what I have no time to say in my opaque coloured eyes. I finally give into what the fire wants and let it burn me away. As I die, I don't spiritually suffer, because, the only thing that has meaning in my life lives. All because I have given my everything for her.

I have no regrets what so ever.